So much has happened too me over this past month, I've struggled, fell short of glory and became more aware of who I am.

Today marks one month of me being officially single, it's so sad too think that only a couple months ago I was so in love with someone, was really sure that he was the guy for me. I haven't heard from him or even received any texts messages really. So that right there is telling me, that he didn't want any part of my life. Saddens me, but also makes me happy that I didn't waste anymore of my time on someone who I wasn't meant too be with. So as you can see I am moving on focusing on me, and what God has planned for me. I am not wasting anymore of my time hoping, that he will see that one day we had something really special.

Moving on now..... Okay so I'm super excited, sad and nervous every emotion above. I am moving too Halifax in 4 days!!!!! YIPPEEEEE! Hoping for some new experiences, and too meet new people. I needed this change for a long time, I was feeling so trapped and stuck, as if I couldn't move anywhere. I started too feel so crowded, like there was no breathing room. I was suffocating in my own sorrow, anger and financial difficulties. I believe this move is going too be good for me, will help me grow, and become even more independent. Its what I feel is right for me. This is completely random, but this is lyrics too one of my favourite songs that truly explains me right now.

Standing still i'm gonna stand still, stiller than the stones
you know i will, oh you can test my will, it won't go breaking with my bones
take a picture, take a lasting look of the girl you once adored
hide it somewhere in your secret book, think of me no more

This is the new me, I am going too take a year too grow and become what I was meant too be, I have people around me that I ask too encourage me, and keep praying for me. I want too be completely changed and renewed. So my blog is going too be a new chapter in my life.

Words Will Never Explain What You Mean To Me

Let me just start off by saying that this weekend brought forth some challenges between Darryl and I in in our relationship, but I'm glad to say we sorted through them and God is the centre of the problems we were having. I believe that God will heal everything that has happened if only we let him and we are more then willing to let him. 

Honestly if I can speak honestly here don't take for granted what has been given to you like I have. If you do then your just being foolish, I needed to ask for forgiveness from God and Darryl, and I thank God for giving me someone who is so understanding and cares for me so much! 

I've been thinking about how lucky I am to be dating someone who is so in love with God and who will keep kicking me in my butt to get into my Word and pray about all my situations, and as I have been getting into my Word more and praying more I m starting to see changes in my workplace and in my relationship with friends, family and Darryl. If there is only one thing you can do in a day, I say spend it with God! He is worth all your time.

This part in the book of Psalms stuck out at me today;

 ¹⁰ Those who know your name will trust in you, 

       for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Isn't that one of the best promises God has to offer to us! honestly that makes me feel so much better about all my problems and everything that has brought me down over the last few months. My biggest problem was not trusting God with everything, even though I knew I should be, I wasn't.  So I hope I may have blessed you somehow, if not that is okay too! All that matter is God loves me. 

I want to be...

 Psalms 1

¹ Blessed is the man 
       who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked 
       or stand in the way of sinners 
       or sit in the seat of mockers.

 ² But his delight is in the law of the LORD, 
       and on his law he meditates day and night.

 ³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water, 
       which yields its fruit in season 
       and whose leaf does not wither. 
       Whatever he does prospers.

 ⁴ Not so the wicked! 
       They are like chaff 
       that the wind blows away.

 ⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, 
       nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

 ⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, 
       but the way of the wicked will perish.

I was reading this chapter in my bible today listening to He Loves me by John McMillan, and wow did it ever hit me how much God really loves me, and how He wants so much more for my life then what I have going right now. There is so much in this world today, and the world does have a lot to offer, but I have come to realize what God has to offer is much more then what this world will ever give me, other then heart ache and miss understandings. 

I really don't know at this point where I stand but, I know where I want to be standing. I really want all of Gods gifts He has for me, I want every blessing that he pours on me, I want everything that He has to offer. Am I too selfish to ask for it all? 

I want to be that person at my workplace that everyone comes to for advice, and I want to be able to share the Gospel with all these people and tell them of everything God has done for me in my life. I am so blessed right now to know God, I want to be able to bless people as well. Even if I am rejected God is more important too me then someone who doesn't want anything to do with me  because of what I believe in. He is the one I can just tell him everything and release all my sorrows and pain onto him and feeling his presence just surround me just like the sun does in the middle of the afternoon. 

I'm going to keep trusting and believing in God and not be that judging person who I use to be and still am time to time, I want to be better then that, I want to be the person who sees the beauty in everything and everyone.

I'm just trusting in God and believing I'm going in the right direction in my life. Not worrying about what people think, just worrying about what God thinks.

Graduation pictures!

Big Things Come In Small Packages

Well as you all know by now I didn't get going on my Mission's Trip, because of this swine flu everyone is all worked up about, you know what thats okay because God has something huge planned for me when we go in June! I know it, I just keep getting that feeling that he has something special planned out for me. Some people can not see why I am not scared to go to Mexico, but I know why and God knows why, and basically thats all that matters. I know I won't have support from some people when I go in June, truth be told I'm not going so I can please those guys, I am going to please God by doing his work and showing his love. I'm extremely excited to go. 

So because I couldn't go to Mexico me and my Ma spent the whole day in Toronto on friday. We drove to Oshawa and hopped on the go to Union station. Had a great day shopping and basically getting to know my Ma a bit more, even if she does make me mad sometimes she can be kinda cool too. We hung out as if we were just friends, no fighting was quite nice. We went to Baton Rouge for lunch, then off into the Eaton centre, where I was all ready to find a dress and some shoes for a few wedding I will be attending this summer. I managed to find the perfect dress, I definitely knew it was the dress that I needed to get as soon as I saw it. There is a floral pattern on the dress and the flowers and purple and blue, very elegant looking. The shoes I bought are a purple colour and again fell in love with them as soon as I saw em! teir perfect for the outfit. All I need to find now is a gorgeous purple purse. After our long and exhausting day of shopping, we met up with my boyfriend my lover Darryl... lol. I'm really falling hard and fast for him. Not too fast a God pace fast lol! That made my weekend even better, because he knew I was really down about not getting to go to Mexico so he came to cheer me up.

Saturday I hung out with my bestest Cait and my lova again! We all just hung out and talked for a bit, and then went done to my nannie and poppa's house for a BBQ. I met one of my cousins boyfriends and I met one of the newest editions to our family baby chloe, she is very very cute. She is a second cousin too me. We just chatted there and hung out with my fam good times! Then we came back to my place where we watched 300 lol *THIS IS SPARTA* bahahaha good movie lol.

Sunday was church and my graduation day from the course I have been taking for almost 2 years! wow doesn't it feel amazing to be finally done. So we received our diploma's in a frame, and had a bunch of pictures taken, and after church my parents took us out to Swiss Chalet to celebrate! wasa very good afternoon, until Darryl had to go back to the GO train so he could go home. Oh Well I am going to see him next weekend and can't wait! 

Everything Happens for a Reason!

So I'm not going to Mexico now for missions, I'm a little disappointed, but I know everything happens for a reason. I chose not too go so I would be able to share this experience with some people I was going with next year! So I know next year is going to be so incredible! I definetly can not wait! 

I'm sure there is going to be ore opportunities this year for missions, so I will just have to wait and see. Just take note I didn't choose not to go because I'm afraid of this flu, because I'm not! I chose to go because I want to go with this lady from work, who is searching for God and knows he is there, but just hasn't grasped the whole concept yet! So I am going to have an incredible time with her next year!

So I'm praying for all those who are affected by this flu, I pray it all passes through and that everyone will be cured of it! God works in mysterious ways remember!

Pichas!

Some of my faves pics I have taken over the last little while!